catharsis

poetry

i swallow fire
like its prayer
like its polite
like its easier
to burn quietly
than scorch anyone else.

i carry a blade
behind my ribs
not for anyone else -
for me,
to carve the scream
from my throat
before it ever reaches
the world.

somehow
the sky still hears me.
it lets me bleed
without leaving a stain.

rain like absolution
rain like permission
rain loud enough 
to drown the voice
that tells me

be softer
be smaller
be good.

water droplets
race my skin
as god finally chose violence
baptism by drowning.

i step into it
fully clothed
fully loaded
in some competitive
catharsis.

i tilt my head
close my eyes
let the storm
wash it away
drop by drop
until i am steam
rising from wet pavement.

a pathetic fallacy
that
understands.